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Sunday, January 5, 2014

Real Love Isn't A Fairytale

Love isn’t perfect. It isn’t a fairy tale or a story book, and it doesn’t always come easy. Love is overcoming obstacles, facing challenges, fighting to be together, holding on and never letting go. Love is work, but most of all, love is realizing that every hour, every minute, every second of it was worth it because you did it… together.

Be careful with your ideas about what a relationship really is. You may be thinking that your Prince Charming is going to kiss you and then you will live happily ever after. Make sure you are ready for the time and energy a happy, and healthy relationship takes.

Your partner probably has friends that make you feel a little jealous. Whether it’s an ex that’s still hanging around or just someone that you feel threatened by, you will probably come across someone like this. If you do, the first thing you need to do is understand that jealousy gets you nowhere and that your partner probably has no idea that it’s bothering you. Have a mature conversation about it and express your insecurities in a respectful way.

While it’s not good to live in the past, you probably learned some things from the way you behaved in your past relationships. Perhaps you were too clingy or didn’t focus on your relationship enough. Maybe you were too jealous or took them for granted. Whatever it was, you can learn from it so you won’t carry the same baggage into this relationship.

Love is not exactly like the story in your favorite movie, it takes work, time and commitment. Don’t start throwing around the word “love” or expecting your partner to say it until you’re both sure you mean it. Let it happen naturally.

Part of the beauty of a relationship is that a lot of things are spontaneous or out of your control. It is easy to feel a little bit possessive in a new relationship but it will only make it harder for the relationship to mature. You may be setting up your partner for trust issues and other problems that will cause your relationship to unravel later so just learn to go with the flow and enjoy!

It is so important that as you form your relationship that you are not giving it all your time and energy. Don’t stop your life and don’t expect your partner to stop theirs. You should still have hobbies and personal goals no matter who you are dating.

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